[Matthew & Rose]

Update 11th March 2009

2009-03-11T18:59:00.004+08:00

Finally, Reaching Home….

8th March 2009

2009-03-09T11:53:00.004+08:00

On The Way Home….

Leaving Detroit, Stopover In Tokyo

Update 1st March 2009

2009-02-27T22:31:00.011+08:00

The Goodbyes Begin....
Thank You, Concordia…Our Family

Update 16th February 2009

2009-02-18T23:01:00.015+08:00

Looking Back…

We had a full dosage of traditional Christmas in December. We stayed over at the Freudenburgs with their children, in-laws, and grand children. It was a wonderful time of experiencing the family traditions of the Freudenburgs; Christmas day dinner, Christmas story-telling, gifts opening, fun activities, etc.

We had a quiet evening at the Freudenburgs on New Year Eve.

We used the Christmas/New Year break to catch up with the studies.

The new semester started on 12 January. It has been a stretch of trying to finish as much of the 4 remaining courses as possible. We ceased all outstation travelling to concentrate on the studies.Yes, we did celebrate Chinese New Year with the two professors from the Family Life Department, some fellow students, and friends. We decorated the common area of our dormitory with 2 paper lanterns and any pao packets which Douglas sent to us earlier. A surprise dish was the chicken feet. One of the guests thought that they were paws of cats we slaughtered for the meal. We had a great evening.

The weather is kind of crazy sometimes. The coldest day so far was minus 21 degree Celsius. It was very cold. We were told that this winter has been especially cold and the snow fall has been unusually high. Winter weather is expected to last until the end of April.

Looking Forward…

We are really looking forward to going home, to meet up with our family members, church members, and friends.

3 more weeks to go…

However, we will surely miss the people here. We will talk more on this in our blog next week before we leave.

A Week In Passing

What A Time To Be!

2008-12-24T00:17:00.013+08:00

Christmas is a time of celebrations, a time for family and friends rejoicing together and celebrating the coming of the Light of the World – Jesus Christ.

Christmas has become a significant time for Rose and I since 26th December 1986. On that day, my life took a major turn. I invited Lord Jesus Christ into my heart and gave Him the control as my personal Lord and Master.

Being cynical of all this ‘stuff’ about God for 31 years before that, I made the decision with the attitude of ‘let me try and see whether this God-thing works’.

The life of the last 22 years has been really remarkable. Though there were trials and struggles, I can say that I have very few regrets. In fact, there have been countless blessings which I would definitely not have had experienced if not for being a follower of Christ. As we reflected on the precarious life we lived before the 1986 event, we cringed, thinking of how our lives would have turned out if we had not had Jesus Christ in our lives all these years.

Jesus Christ has blessed our marriage tremendously. Our children have grown up loving and serving God. We also know the specific purposes why we are here on earth and are pursuing them right now. We have the peace and joy of living a life of great hope, not only on earth, but into the eternity. For all these, we can only give our Jehovah God the glory and honor. He made all these possible.

This will be our second Christmas away from the church after 21 years. The last time was during my business days. We will surely miss the great bunch of people whom we have grown to love and as part of the great family besides our own natural families.

We will be celebrating Christmas with Professor Freudenburg and his family.

Christmas Greetings
Rose and I would like to take this time to wish you a very blessed Christmas season and New Year 2009.

Most important of all, if you still do not know Christ personally, make it the reason for the season by asking Jesus Christ into your life. If you are not 100% sure like I was before, may be just take the first step of inviting Jesus into your life as your Lord and Saviour and see what He will do for you in 2009. Like me, miracles of God await you.

The Boar’s Head Festival
‘What festival is that?’ That was just exactly the question I asked myself when someone mentioned this at a staff seminar when we first arrived here in July. It took us a while to comprehend what that really was and appreciate the powerful impacts the festival brings.

This festival, a pageant rooted in ancient times, is a vibrant and living tradition of our university and one of its hallmarks. It’s very much a part of our campus culture.

In 1977, three professors - Dr. Paul Foelber, John Sturmfels and Quentin Marino brought the Boar's Head Festival to the Concordia University Ann Arbor. This year’s festival is the university’s 31st.

Yes, we both participated in this year’s festival. We will talk more about this later.

First, the background on the festival.

Wild boar, sovereign of the forest and menace to humans, was hunted as a public enemy. At Roman feasts, boar was the first dish served.

As Christian beliefs overtook pagan customs in Europe, the presentation of a boar's head at Christmas came to symbolize God’s dominion over sin. The boar, being the most ferocious beast in the forest, was considered the ultimate symbol of evil. Its death came to symbolize Christ's victory over sin.

The Boar's Head Festival is probably the oldest continuing festival of the Christmas season with over 660 years of history. The Festival we know today originated at Queen's College, Oxford, England in 1340.

What began as a pagan festival was endowed by early Christians with symbolic religious meaning.

Mixed with Medieval pageantry, the costumes, the Yule log, and King Wenceslas, comes the Christ child, the angels, the shepherds, and the three kings.

The Boar's Head Carol is a

macaronic 15th century English Christmas carol that describes the ancient tradition of sacrificing a boar and presenting its head at a Yuletide feast.

The festival is an emotional experience – especially the final scene, as the proud King Wenceslas lays down his scepter at the feet of the Christ child.

Our Parts
Many persons in this year’s cast have been part of the festival for a number of years. One person stood out among us was Professor Dr. Neil Skov, who has acted as King Wenceslas 31 years in a row. His performance was just par excellent. No less outstanding were Professors Kevin and Kathy Brendon, the Duke and Duchess.

Though we had to juggle the schedule for rehearsals and 3 performances, we are so thankful and count it a privilege to be a part of the festival. We played the parts of lord and lady. Rose and I had a lot of fun learning to dance and wearing the costumes. Of course, teasing was plenty. I was teased over the tights I wore.

Update 7th December 2008

2008-12-09T08:57:00.019+08:00

What’s happening…

A lot has happened since 2 November. On 7th and 8th November, Matthew went with Professor Freudenburg to Cincinnati, Ohio, for another FFPN seminar. It was again a great learning experience from the professor who conducted the family life workshop with a heart of fire for about 40 family life practitioners.

On 11th November, our university celebrated the Veterans Day when the whole nation honoured those who had served and were still serving in the military. At the flag raising ceremony, we had choir singing and orchestra playing and two fighter jets flew over the place where we assembled at 12 noon. It was quite an experience to see such strong patriotism expressed among the people.

Next, Professor Freudenburg and Matthew travelled to Phoenix, Arizona, on 12th and 13th November, where the professor was the plenary speaker of a 2-day family-life summit, where some of the key family-life practitioners of an organisation gathered.

For 3 days on 21st to 23rd November, Professor Freudenburg and Professor Doyle conducted the Senior Project for 8 about-to-graduate students. It was such a powerful weekend as the professors mentored the students for the career ahead of them. We travelled to different locations in the Michigan peninsula for that. That was also the time when we experienced real snow for the first time here.

After one day of break, we left for Cape Girardeau, Missouri on 25th November for the Thanksgiving celebration with the mother of Jennifer Freudenburg. Matthew & Cori (Professor Freudenburg’s older daughter and their children also joined us for that. Thanksgiving celebration is equivalent to Chinese New Year in Malaysia. We stayed overnight at around mid-point to Cape Girardeau on 25th November (after 5 hours of driving) before proceeding to St. Louis and then to Cape Girardeau on 26th November.

On 26th November (Wednesday), all four of us visited the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial (after 2 hours of drive) where the world-famous Gateway Arch is located. I remember looking at the photo of the arch when I was studying Geography during the lower secondary school years. Professor Feudenburg and Jennifer treated us with a ride to the top middle section of the arch, at 630 feet above ground. The view over the St. Louis city was just breathtaking. The visit to the Museum of Westward Expansion underneath the arch was also very exhilarating. After that, it took us 2 hours of driving to get to Grandma Millie’s house in Cape Girardeau, the south-eastern part of Missouri, at the mighty Mississippi River.

The Thanksgiving meal and the time with Grandma Millie and her children and grandchildren was just wonderful. It was a good break for us after many months of hectic schedules.

When we returned on Sunday (30th November), we headed into a snow fall. We came back to a campus covered totally with snow for the first time.

This week, we experienced several snow falls. People say that the worst is yet to come. The highest temperature today is around minus 5 degree Celsius and the low is minus 10 degree. More snow is expected this coming week.

It is getting very cold. We have never ever experienced this cold before. If you wish to keep track of what we are going through here on the weather front, log in on http://www.weather.com/outlook/travel/businesstraveler/hourbyhour/48109?locid=48109 or key in ‘Ann Arbor weather’ on Google Search.

What’s ahead!

We are coming to the end of the fall semester. Next two weeks will be crazy with final examinations and assignments due.

A Week In Passing

Update 2nd November

2008-11-03T22:43:00.016+08:00

What’s happening…

You must be wondering why we did not mention much about how we got on with our studies so far and about the campus. Well, we sort of waited to see how this went before we let you in a bit more on it.

So far, we do really enjoy all the subjects we take. You know what, we have not failed any test yet. Our classmates are all nice and also very bright. Yes, all of them, except one, are younger than Nicholas and Douglas. Just imagine these two old Asian folks sitting in their midst. Kind of like Asian parents with a family of American kids. We have great fun in class. We have this professor (Professor Genthner) who even hand-wrestled with a girl student to make the point of gender differences in our Human Sexuality course. Last Friday, some students dressed up for the class. One even came in a World War 1 uniform. It was the day our adult student, Jackie, brought her son (Aaron) to the class. That was real cool.

The professors are great too. Each has their uniqueness. They are not just great teachers but have such a caring heart for their students.

The fun side of university life does help greatly with the ‘pain’ of the course assignments and tests.

We did a fair bit travelling also in the last few weeks. On 16 and 17 October, Matthew travelled with Professor Freudenburg to Altanta where the professor spoke to a group of university professors on family life.

Then, we were off to the FFPN function in Nebraska. We had a tremendous time there. Professor Fruedenburg, his wife Jennifer, Matthew and Rose landed at Ohama airport and took a 2.5-hour drive to Norfolk, a farming community. First, we met this most lovely and energetic 90 year-old lady, Adelaide Schewe (we all call her ‘Addie’), the first cousin of Professor Freudenburg, who hosted us at her beautiful house.

After seeing many cornfields at where we stayed in Michigan, we were wondering what kind of machine (they call it ‘Combine’ here) they were going to use to harvest such big fields of corn. It was explained to us that such a machine convert the whole corn plant into corn kernels in a split second. Addie arranged for us to not just to see a combine but to ride on one. I rode on a combine driven by a cool guy called Chad, a third generation farmer. Rose went onto a truck that carried the corn.

That afternoon of 17 October, we also traced the root of Professor Freudenburg to the house where he lived in the first four years of his life. We also visited the graves of his parents. It was a very meaningful journey for all of us to do that.

For Friday night and whole day Saturday, Professor Freudenburg conducted the FFPN seminar. His wife, Jennifer, and Matthew also conducted one session each. On Saturday evening, we were treated to a delicious dinner at another Freudenburg family member’s (Elaine) place.

On Sunday (18th October), Matthew & Rose spoke on Malaysia at a special function.

On the following Saturday, Professor Frendenburg and Matthew went to Richville, 3 hours drive time north of Ann Arbor to conduct another FFPN seminar. There, after the seminar, we visited the largest Christmas store in the world at Frankenmuth.

On the weather front, we are going below zero degree Celsius at night now. It is getting very cold now. Everyone is telling us that the worst is yet to come. We have yet to see snow. On the bright side, the trees here are turning into beautiful colours. This is a nice blessing from the changing season.

What’s ahead!
Professor Freudenburg and Matthew will be going to Cincinnati, Ohio next weekend for a FFPN seminar.

A Week In Passing

Six Weeks Update

2008-10-15T13:58:00.012+08:00

What’s happening…

Now I know what studies can do to our time schedule! Six weeks into the semester and we are already swamped. I hope I do not develop the habit of updating this blog once every six weeks.

What do we do every weekday? What do you think? Readings and assignments. This student life is in full swing. So far, our brains are still staying with us.

It’s an exciting time for us as the subjects we take are all very interesting, especially Family Life Methodology Education, Parenting Education and Guidance, and Child Psychology. They are just the expansion of the areas of family life that we have been involved in over the last decade or so. On top of this, these are up-to-date and cutting edge stuff. The cream that tops it all is the emphasis not just on theory but the applications.

We have many ‘aha’ moments and paradigm shifts in several key areas of family life learning.

The privilege of having two professors (Professor Freudenburg and Professor Doyle) guiding us personally on the learning process is just tremendous.

Matthew started co-teaching with the professors in two courses. It’s quite a different environment at an American university, even compared to universities in New Zealand that we are familiar with. The students are generally very expressive and very bright and eager to learn.

The visits (one on Sunday 21st September) to the sites where students on practicum and internship are just a clear example. Another is the visit to the baby delivery facility on 16th September as part of the Child Psychology class.

Oh yes! We also have a lot of goodies to eat at classes, especially those under Professor Doyle.

We went to Grand Rapids (where the HQ of Amway Corporation is located) and Grand Haven, northeast of here, for the weekend of 27th September, again for the Family Friendly Partners Network (FFPN) assignment of Professor Freudenburg.

Last weekend, Professor Freudenburg and Matthew went to Wausau, Wisconsin, to conduct another FFPN seminar. It was quite an experience seeing the changing autumn colours of the tress from the air and on the ground.

Yes, the weather is getting colder. It was averaging about 10 degrees Celsius in the morning two weeks ago. But this week it averages about 15 degrees. Trees are changing their colours fast these few days. Officially, autumn (called ‘fall’ here because it’s the time of the year when the leaves of many trees fall or trees go ‘botak’) started on 22nd September. I took photos of a particular tree outside our office to show how the colours are changing rapidly now. The scenery is just so amazing.

Just Pondering…..

If you ask us to use one word to describe what we are learning here, we would tell you it’s all about ‘relationships’. It is about building stronger relationships in the family.. between husband and wife and between parents and children.

It is just great to learn of the recent research findings on various family relationship issues. I am personally just astounded by the extensive impacts of family relationships on the development of a human being. The ripple effects are felt well beyond childhood stage, right into adulthood.

I will update more on this when I am able to collect thoughts to share in the coming days.

Meantime, invest in your own family. This is a sure ‘bet’, even in the midst of the crumbling world economy.

What’s ahead!

Professor Freudenburg and Matthew will be going to Atlanta on Wednesday (15th October) where the professor will be a keynote speaker. We will be back on Thursday night and fly off on Friday morning to Nebraska to conduct another FFPN seminar. Rose and Matthew and Jennifer Freudenburg will all be going there until the Sunday evening.

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at <blueshores86@yahoo.com>

Week Beginning 8 September 2008

2008-09-12T16:28:00.008+08:00

What’s happening…
Monday, 1st September, was a Labour Day and a national public holiday here. Apart from joining Professor Frendenburg and Professor Doyle at 10 a.m. in briefing the students on the Family Life programme, it was a fairly quiet day. A kind of little pause before the rush of the week.

The semester kicked off with an Opening Ceremony on Tuesday morning, when the university management team, the faculty members, and the students got together. We were introduced to the university community. We recognise this great privilege to be a part of the Family Life Department, and a part of a unique and reputable university.

After the ceremony, we were off to the lectures. It was quite an experience for us. After 26 years of absence from the university life, it was kind of nostalgic to be ‘back to school’. The major difference this time is that we are studying things which we are deeply passionate about. Therefore, we are enjoying every bit of it. Nonetheless, as expected, it is a life of tons of reading and keeping up with assignments.

We were glad to come to the end of the week. Friday night, we all went out to a special dinner, celebrating Jennifer Freudenburg’s birthday. After that, we were joined by Sara (Professor Freudenburg’s younger daughter) and her husband Tom, and their daughter, Markey. Markey is a special girl to all of us. She is just so beautiful.

Early Saturday morning, we left for a small town one hour from Ann Arbor, to an orchard to pick apples with the family of Cori (Professor Freudenburg’s older daughter). She and her husband, Matthew, have three young children (Caleb, Adelaide, and Micah). Again, the children are just so adorable. Caleb, the big brother, is the inquisitive one. Adelaide is shy and gentle, while Micah is very friendly. We enjoyed immensely the time we spent at the orchard and the lunch we had with the Freudenburg family afterwards.

A major part of the Saturday afternoon was spent in preparing the food for the Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday. This dinner was organised by the Freudenburgs to give us an opportunity to thank all those who had contributed to arranging for us to study at Concordia University and the furnishing of our campus apartment. We cooked curry chicken, beef satay, and laksa for the guests to try.

Many people came and we had a wonderful time together. Great group of people with the genuine heart for serving others. We are just so thankful to live in the midst of a great university community.

Just Pondering…..
There is a blessing in disguise in this delay of finishing the blog write-up for this week.

I read an incredible piece of news on Tuesday (9 Sept) about how a 3-year old girl, Leona, in U.K. got sucked into a hole in the middle of a puddle of water on a playground and was carried for 230 feet in an underground pipe before she was rescued by her own father. Her father watched her disappear and saw her again at the other end of the pipe.

These are some of the reported remarks of Mum Beverley Baxter.

'She just vanished in front of us, one minute she was there, the next she had vanished.’

'I thought I'd lost her. I thought that was it. I just kept saying to Mark "we've got to get her, we've got to find her".

I reflected on the great anguish of Leona’s parents as they witnessed the stark reality of losing their child. All parents can easily identify with these feelings of loss, though at varying degrees.

I always wonder, as a parent: When did this tremendous love we have for our children begin? Something inside me happened before the arrivals of Nicholas and Douglas. That something, loosely referred to as parental love, causes all parents to give their all for their children, even their very own lives. This is something special, very special. Without that something (love), I don’t think I could do the many things that I did for our two boys. Likewise, for all parents, this special kind of love came from somewhere. It wasn’t there before.

Where does it come from? Here is something to think about for the week ahead!

Word of Wisdom
A quote on parenthood: ‘Parenthood always comes as a shock. Postpartum blues? Postpartum panic is more like it. We set out to have a baby; what we get is a total take-over of our lives.’ Though what Polly Berrien Berends says might sound negative, the reality is that having children is our way of giving a part of our life away, a part that wasn’t there in the first place. It (love) was given to us to give away to a special group of people – our children.

What’s ahead!
The pace of student life is going to pick up during the week ahead. Some assignments are due. We are about to be swamped. But again, we are telling ourselves, ‘This is what a student life is!’. I guess it is for us now…for another 3 months+

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…

This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at (blueshores86@yahoo.com)

Week Beginning 1 September 2008

2008-09-02T14:01:00.010+08:00

What’s happening…
We wish there was more than just this week to take a breather before the heavy schedule of the semester sets in on Tuesday.

Because of various things, we are behind in completing the second examination of the Adolescent Psychology. We spent most of the week studying for the 3rd and final examination. We are behind on this.

Friday afternoon, the Family Life Department did a presentation at the Student Admission Office. Professor Freudenburg and Professor Doyle turned ‘salespersons’ for an hour when they pitched their talk on how students could benefit from studying with the department. We discovered that the department was breaking new grounds on cutting edge courses, such as those for Child Life Specialist focus. We were enthralled by the potential impacts these courses could have on the lives of the children who are going through critical illness, as well as their family members.

We are beginning to discover more and more of the mission of this university in making deep impacts on the world through the graduates.

At 3p.m. on Saturday, a special Matriculation Ceremony was held on campus for parents and new students and staff. It was such an emotional scene as parents openly declared their trust in the university community and ‘handed over’ their children to their care.

That evening, we attended our first American wedding of a couple who are graduates of the Family Life Department here.

After that, we had the privilege of doing our weekly shopping with Professor Doyle. We were so honoured to have the Professor with us for a simple Malaysian dinner at our apartment – fried mee hoon cooked by a rare Malaysian ‘chef’ on campus…Rose.

Just Pondering…..
The gathering thoughts of recent weeks prompted Matthew to take three mornings off at the beginning of this week to think and reflect about several matters, knowing that this would be hard to do in the next few months with term work.

Solitude, being on your own for a period of time, is not an easy thing to do. When I (Matthew) first started doing this a number of years ago, I struggled quite a bit, even though I knew in my head from the research on the subject and hearing the accounts of others who practiced it, that it was very refreshing for a man who is constantly on the treadmill of life. Now, for me, I begin to get a fair bit of pleasure out of this. In fact, I kind of look forward to it.

The opportunity of having a pause from the daily dash and to recalibrate the things of life is indeed great. We all do have occasional respites that prompt us to look away from the unending struggles of life for a while and focus on the big questions of life such as ‘what is the meaning of doing what I am doing?’, ‘why am I here on earth?’, ‘does how I live matter at all?’, etc. We do ask these during human crisis situations, such as at funerals, when visiting a loved one or friend who is dying, in major breakdowns of key life relationships (in marriage and in parenting), and so on.

The time to think and pray through what is ahead of us here, what to do after our return (in the not so distant future), the people who are close to us who are going through a rough patch of their lives, has been very good for me. So much has happened with us here since we arrived. So much has happened back home as well. I have not given much thought to what the winning of Anwar Ibrahim in the by-election this week means to our nation. This must be a main thing that grips the hearts of the people of the nation right now.

Maybe you would like to try this thing called solitude, some day. Who knows, you might discover something new there.

I am not asking you to become like a monk or nun in the monastery. You know what! On the issue of monastery life, it is an increasingly popular practice in the western world nowadays for busy people to have ‘silent retreats’ at a real monastery.

Word of Wisdom
An ancient saying: ‘Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.’ Looking up to the clear night sky, marvel at the beauty of the surrounding and things, help us to ‘size’ ourselves up. We are really not as central as we would like to think we are. Yet, what we do matters to many lives. Pause this week for a short while, look around you, think of those big questions of life again. You might find real rest in your soul from such times!

What’s ahead!
We just do not know how to describe accurately the time ahead of us. On the one hand, it will be very hectic with course works and serving at the department office (for Rose). On the other hand, it will be the time when the main bulk of our learning, the reason of this U.S. attachment, takes place. We will be taking 6 courses in total. Matthew will be assisting Professor Freudenburg in teaching the course, ‘Family Life Education Methodology’ and Professor Doyle in ‘Parent Education and Guidance’ course. On top of his, we will be mentored by Professor Freudenburg in the Family Friendly Partnership Network programme which involves travelling to various parts of the United States.

Tuesday is the opening day of the semester. There will be a grand opening ceremony for faculty members and students at around 11 a.m. that morning. We’ll keep you posted next week on how it’s like in the first week of the university year.

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at <blueshores86@yahoo.com>

Week Beginning 25th August 2008

2008-08-24T22:04:00.004+08:00

What’s happening…
What an eventful week! And full of surprises as well.

The main event was the annual seminar of the Faculty of Religious Studies and The Social Sciences (of which the Family Life Department comes under) from Wednesday to Thursday. It was a time for faculty professors and lecturers to come together as part of the preparation for the start of the new academic year (beginning 2nd September) and be updated on the latest developments of the university front. Matthew and Rose gave a brief introduction of themselves there. We felt very welcome to be part of the faculty, albeit for a short period of time.

On Friday, Dr. Tom Ahlersmeyer, President of the university, gave the State of the University speech to all the university staff. A stirring time for all of us as the theme of year was expounded and challenges made to make the new year a great one with lasting impacts on lives we touch.

For the rest of the week, we have been studying for the second examination of the Adolescent Psychology course due this weekend.

Oh yes! We missed out letting you know last week the time we had at the annual Ypsilanti Heritage Fair on Saturday (16 August) with Professor Ben and Jennifer Freudenburg. It was a kind of a funfair with emphasis on the history of how people lived over the centuries in America, including the Red Indians.

Last Sunday, we went with the Freudenburgs as Professor Ben visited one of his students on practicum as part of the degree programme.

Just Pondering…..
Last week, we parted with the thought that our life success depends on the how well we develop the key relationships in life -‘'Love the Lord (our) God with all our heart and with all our soul. Love him with all our mind. ….Love our neighbours as we love ourselves.’

It may sound very self-centred to ‘love ourselves’. It is…only if that is our whole preoccupation.

But if our life is one of seeking to love God and others in various ways, loving oneself becomes a critical foundation stone.

I scan many news websites daily to keep abreast with the home news and the happenings around the world.

One news item that gripped me was what happened to reigning world champion, Liu Xiang, the pride of China at the Olympics, who pulled out of the 110-meter hurdles minutes before the start of the race, in front of the 91,000 expectant crowd on Monday (18 August).

The Electric New Paper of Singapore reported that ‘Chinese were broken when hurdler Liu Xiang pulled out on Monday. But no one seemed to spare a thought for his loving dad. His heart was crushed too. Mr Liu Xuegen turned off his handphone immediately after his son limped off the track at the National Stadium.’

It must be gut-wrenching for both Liu senior and his son to go through this time. I wonder how their key relationships in life are affected by this. I wonder more how they themselves are going to relate to others under such cloudy skies. I guess it depends a lot on how they ‘love themselves’ under such circumstances; how much they blame themselves for this crisis, what is that self-worth they place on winning the race, the sense of purpose of life itself in general, etc. These have bearing on how much they can pick themselves up at this moment to ‘love others’.

Yes, keeping ourselves in the capacity to love God and others is crucial when we know that our wellbeing comes from these.

It’s not selfish to love ourselves, if this means having greater ability for us to love God and others more.

If we wish our relationships with others could take a recognizable leap in the coming weeks, may be one way is to think of how we can love ourselves more…like taking time away from routine toil and just sleep and relax, making peace with oneself, or just go out and have a big bowl of Sarawak laksa! (Yes! We will have this on 7th September here in Michigan).

Word of Wisdom
A saying: ‘I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country, I want a cabin in the woods. I'm desperate for a change from rage and stormy weather.’

In times of turmoil, find a reliable ‘shelter’ where we can take refuge, build ourselves up again, and weather through the storm.

What’s ahead!
Yes, one thing our nation is intensely focusing on right now is the Permatang Pauh by-election on Tuesday.

We recognise how important this election is to our nation and will certainly pray for this.

For this week, it is a time of preparation for our 3rd and final examination of the current course and to get ready for the start of the semester 9 days from now. After that, the time will pass in a flash…and be home in no time!

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…
This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at

Week Beginning 18th August 2008

2008-08-19T19:23:00.007+08:00

What’s happening…

It certainly felt good to settle down to studies and campus life after a hectic month of travelling and adjusting to life here.

It has also been a week when we began to prepare for our second examination of the Adolescent Psychology course scheduled for Friday next week.

Pastor Peter Lui and Pastor Glen Lim made a detour of their U.S. trip to visit us on Monday and to reconnect with Professor Ben Freudenburg and his wife, Jennifer, whom Pastor Peter met in 2006 in Singapore.

It was an exciting time on Thursday when we attended the ‘Healthy Me, Healthy You’ Early Childhood Conference. Dr. Tom Ahlersmeyer, President of the Concordia University, gave an inspiring opening speech to the 300+ early childhood educators present at the one-day conference. Professor Ben, the keynote speaker, challenged the participants to stay faithful to their vocation and keep ‘healthy’ to make the greatest impact on young lives. Matthew & Rose also shared briefly some of their experiences of the Malaysian kindergarten education scene.

The university campus was a hive of activities on Friday as the first batch of new students enrolled for the new semester that starts on 2nd September. We shall see many things taking place on campus the next few weeks with many other students returning from the summer break.

We are also slowly gearing up for the full-load of studies ahead of us.

Besides studies, Professor Freudenburg is opening many doors for us to learn about various aspects of building strong family. Many visits to various community organisations to learn about their family life programmes are expected in the coming months.

Just Pondering…..
The parting thought of the last blog of ‘my life depends on relationships’ lingered on in me much of this week. As I carefully looked around during the week from the perspective of this truth, I easily discovered its reality.

The giving and receiving of gifts, extending oneself to serve others, affirmations given, physical and emotional supports experienced, being in one’s presence in times of need, various expressions of love, were all about relationships.

Is there anything that we experience in our daily life that has nothing to do with relationships? What about personal enjoyment in solitude, like eating a plate of ‘kolo mee’ (noodles) on your own when you are starving for it? Or looking at the beauty of your surroundings as you take that stroll in the quietness of the morning?

There was an ancient learned religious teacher who sought for an answer to, among all the things one must have to be successful in life, that one most important thing a person must have to succeed in life. The answer he received was ‘relationships’.

He was told to ‘'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your mind. ….Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ Simply put, it is to have good relationships with God, with others, and with yourself. The answer tells us that our very lives depend on these relationships.

This answer may appear strange to some, especially in regards to relationships with God and oneself.

Maybe it’s good to pause right here. Let’s take some time to chew on this thought during this coming week and see what comes out of it.

Do write to me about what you think on this issue of the importance of relationships in life.

Word of Wisdom
A proverb: ‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Reflecting on this proverb of last week further in the context of relationships, it tells me how I am on the inside determines the kinds of relationships I am building, which, in turn, determine the course of the life I am having. The heart is the core. The health of our relationships depends solely on it.

What’s ahead!
As serving staff of the Family Life Department, we will be attending 3 full days of the Faculty Seminar this week. We are not sure of all the details of this seminar. We were told that this was to equip us to serve the department better.

On Saturday afternoon, we will be making a field trip with Professor Doyle to a shopping mall as part of the requirements of the course we are presently doing under her.

It will be a great time of studies…and more studies from now on.

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…
This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at

Week Beginning 11th August 2008

2008-08-10T22:52:00.011+08:00

What’s happening…
We embarked on the journey to Phoenix, Arizona on Monday with great expectation and excitement, recognising that the 2008 Marriage and Family Ministry Training Conference of the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) this week was one of the highlights of our U.S. attachment.

It was indeed a powerful conference with tremendous learning opportunities. Led by the anointed husband-and-wife team of Eric and Jennifer Garcia (AMFM founders. You may find more information on AMFM on http://www.amfmonline.com/), the conference was an ingathering of top experts and practitioners from the wide spectrum of family life development in the U.S. We learned not just from people like Norman Wright, Gary Rosberg, David Ferguson and Kirk Weaver, who are known in our part of the world for their works in the family life arena, but also from other experienced and learned practitioners known for their respective works here in the States.

From the start of the conference with the Marriage Forum (presented by 9 experts) to the end, one cannot but hear the consistent battle cries of protecting and building strong homes in the nation.

It is obvious that the rally is on here. This is understandable, considering the devastations experienced in the families here. A Marriage Commission Research Report states that 1.2 million annual U.S. divorces cost taxpayers an estimated US $30 billion per year, not counting the cost of human sufferings which are often long-term.

The workshop conducted by Rob Rienow on ‘Visionary Parenting’ was stirring. With excellent oratory skills and a passionate and fiery heart, Rienow set out the visions that each parent should have for their children to truly succeed in life.

Kirk Weaver (who also co-wrote resources for the Heritage Builders series of Family Night Tool Chests of Family Time (http://www.famtime.com) shared his heart in two workshops on how parents can actually mentor their children with valuable life principles and values consistently and with passion. Participants could see the fruit of his success with his own family through the presence of his own daughter, Madison, in the workshops. He gave us the whole set of his resources as a blessing to what we are doing.

Professor Ben Freudenburg, who is a key forerunner in this emphasis in the States, again bared his heart in his call to all parents to take primary responsibility (and not to outsource character building to others) in nurturing their children in three workshops he conducted (one workshop with four other known family life practitioners). It was very impactful.

A surprise of the conference was our experience with coaching during the workshop conducted by Dave and Dawn Lind of Focus On Purpose. Their heart in coaching other leaders was infectious.

A distinctive feature of the conference is the excellent platform it provided for networking.

Rose and I had the privilege to meet up and spend an enriching time over a meal with Clint and Penny Bragg of Inverse Ministries. They have been so helpful in the works we do in the Marriage Reconciliation area back home.

We also caught up with a great couple, Gary and Mona Shriver of Hope and Healing. They specialise in helping couples to recover from extramarital affairs.

Another chance meeting was with Dr. Robert Paul, Co-President of National Institute of Marriage. He is also the co-author of the book ‘DNA of Relationships’.

This weekly account is not complete without the story of the family who hosted us at their home in Phoenix: Dr.James Poyak and his lovely wife, Susan (and their cuddly dog, Halley). Dr.Poyak, an international Orthodontics Instructor, is one of the famous dentists in Phoenix, known for his services. Not only is he highly skilled in the dental area but he is also particularly concerned for the wellbeing of his patients. The carefully-designed clinic ambience is one of its kind. We were really blessed by their warm hospitality and their love during our stay at their beautiful home located in a scenic part of the city. They took one day off to show us around the city, even meeting up with their two daughters (Lindsay – married with 2 boys and expecting another one – and Jordan). Perfect hosts.

What a week it has been!

Just Pondering…..
A word that captures the whole essence of this week is ‘relationship’. The conference, with its wide coverage of topics, basically dealt with relationships in the home; between husband and wife, and between parent and child.

Though there are many kinds of life relationships that affect the quality of our life, we know family relationship is the most basic and fundamental and powerful, besides our relationship with God. Its effects on us are pervasive and long-lasting.

Looking inward even for a brief moment about our own relationships within the family easily prompts us to certain feelings about the kind of life we live.

Gazing at the time of growing up in our parents’ home brings back not just memories but the realisation of how it has significantly shaped our life.

Obviously, the current state of relationships with our spouses and children and our siblings very much determines the quality of our present life.

Living in the midst of the myriad demands of life that frequently pull us in all directions, what a battle it is to stay focused on nurturing a healthy relationship with our own family! It requires reminding myself constantly that my life depends on it to keep it within the radar of the daily grind.

Yes, my life depends on it! I better remind myself more of this…..

Word of Wisdom
A proverb: ‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ The condition of my heart for my family directly determines the kind of life I am having with them.

What’s ahead!
This week begins a time of settling down to studies after one whole month of much travelling.

We (the Family Life Department) are also preparing for the return of the students in the next few weeks. The new fall semester will start on 3rd September. There are many events on campus that coincide with that.

One highlight of this coming week is the Early Childhood Conference - Healthy Me, Healthy You conference (refer http://cuaa.edu/) on Thursday. Professor Ben will be the keynote speaker.

A Week in Passing

Acknowledgement…
This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at blueshores86@yahoo.com

Week begining 4th August 2008

2008-08-04T15:31:00.011+08:00

What's Happening

After the flurry of many experiences since arriving in Ann Arbor, Michigan, we are finally settling down to campus life as we enter the fourth week of our attachment here.

We are also now finally catching up with reflecting on various things that took place since our arrival here.

The warm reception at Detroit Metropolitan Airport on 8th July night by two professors (Professor ben Freudebburg and Professor Karna Doyle) of the Family Life Faculty of Concordia University and their spouses was just overwhelming.

We had a taste of American living right from Day One when we stayed at the home of Professor Ben Freudenburg and his wife Jennifer. I left with the professor for the Children’s Conference in Chicago on Friday, 11th July while Rose stayed on here. It was a great learning time on child development. What a start to a time of learning here!

We moved to our apartment on campus on 16th July and discovered that many people at the university, under the leadership of Jennifer Freudenburg, had come together and furnished the place beautifully and with abundance. It is a very comfortable home away from home for us. I guess we have no more excuse not to study hard here!

We had the first taste of home food when we cooked at Professor Ben’s place on 19th July. It was a treat, but we have also set our hearts to be adventurous enough to try all kinds of American food. So far, so good, with hamburgers (triple the size of MacDonald burger in Kuching), sweet potato chips, etc.

We (both Rose and I…Yes! Rose also…) have started a course of the Family Life Education programme, Adolescent Psychology, with Professor Doyle. She is very caring and helpful in ensuring that we learn much from the course. This will keep us very busy, with other commitments (Rose also assisting Professor Ben in his works at the office), right through to the end of August.

The visit with Professor Ben to Focus On The Family Head Office in Colorado Springs last week Friday and Saturday for the Family Champion training was enlightening. It was a cherished experience to be at the premises of an organisation that I have had the opportunity to serve for more than 6 years.

This past weekend, Professor Ben and I travelled by road to Cleveland, Ohio (the neighbouring state). There, Professor Ben conducted a workshop as part of the on-going Family Friendly Partners Network (FFPN) development in that area. It was so heartening to see so many leaders coming together to learn how to develop and establish strong homes in their communities. It was quite an eye-opening experience. The one-on-one time with the professor during the trip was a gem.

Just Pondering...

Even in the midst of so many things happening recently, I never stopped thinking of the conditions of our country and people that we left behind back home. Keeping in touch through the daily readings of Borneo Post, The Star, and The New Straits Times, I gather that things are not doing well there, economically and politically.

Here in America, people are also struggling economically. One large Californian bank (Indymac Bank) collapsed within a week we were here. Austerity drive is the in-thing here right now.

I heard that the key economists of the world aren’t sure where the world economy is heading either. We are in uncharted waters, especially with the rise of fuel prices and no sign of it abating.

In times like this, a natural question we ask ourselves is ‘What will happen to us?’.

What will happen to my career, my family, my friends, my country? A common answer we hear is ‘I (we) don’t know!’.

It’s true. Really, no one has any clear idea where our future lies. It is so uncertain.

This concerns us… for many, greatly.

One immediate step (which even our government encourages) many people take is to ‘tighten our belts’, or at least be more careful in how we spend.

There is a limit to this though. We can only cut so much of our spending without jeopardising our welfare and that of others.

We can work harder. There is a limit to this too.

We are searching for the right answers. Many people out there would volunteer to offer them to us.

However, the key is in the ‘right answers’.

How do we know the answers are right? What reference point or standard do we measure these answers to in determining their being right or wrong? Moreover, many of these answers concern the unknown future.

It seems that we are sitting ducks awaiting the inevitable ahead of us.

ARE WE? Maybe there is a way out of this!

There is an ancient saying, “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls”.

Maybe times like this give us the opportunity to really search for answers (the good way) at places beyond where and what we are usually accustomed to. For some of us, we may even explore about God and see what He has to say in all these.

I hope you would keep this option open.

Who knows, you may experience what an ancient tells us,
“No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it -
What God has arranged for those who love Him.”

Word of Wisdom

A Proverb: “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise... keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips.”

What's Ahead!

On this Monday, Rose and I will be heading for Phoenix, Arizona, to attend the annual conference of the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries. It’s one of the forefront conferences on family life in the States. You may find this at http://www.amfmconference.com/

It will be a week of great learning experiences as we have signed up for 5 main sessions and 9 workshops over the 4-day period. We hope to meet many persons whom we can network with in the future.

We’ll be back early Saturday morning.

A Week In Passing

Memorable Moments

Acknowledgement... This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at [blueshores86@yahoo.com]