Week Beginning 25th August 2008

What’s happening…
What an eventful week! And full of surprises as well.

The main event was the annual seminar of the Faculty of Religious Studies and The Social Sciences (of which the Family Life Department comes under) from Wednesday to Thursday. It was a time for faculty professors and lecturers to come together as part of the preparation for the start of the new academic year (beginning 2nd September) and be updated on the latest developments of the university front. Matthew and Rose gave a brief introduction of themselves there. We felt very welcome to be part of the faculty, albeit for a short period of time.

On Friday, Dr. Tom Ahlersmeyer, President of the university, gave the State of the University speech to all the university staff. A stirring time for all of us as the theme of year was expounded and challenges made to make the new year a great one with lasting impacts on lives we touch.

For the rest of the week, we have been studying for the second examination of the Adolescent Psychology course due this weekend.

Oh yes! We missed out letting you know last week the time we had at the annual Ypsilanti Heritage Fair on Saturday (16 August) with Professor Ben and Jennifer Freudenburg. It was a kind of a funfair with emphasis on the history of how people lived over the centuries in America, including the Red Indians.

Last Sunday, we went with the Freudenburgs as Professor Ben visited one of his students on practicum as part of the degree programme.

Just Pondering…..
Last week, we parted with the thought that our life success depends on the how well we develop the key relationships in life -‘'Love the Lord (our) God with all our heart and with all our soul. Love him with all our mind. ….Love our neighbours as we love ourselves.’

It may sound very self-centred to ‘love ourselves’. It is…only if that is our whole preoccupation.

But if our life is one of seeking to love God and others in various ways, loving oneself becomes a critical foundation stone.

I scan many news websites daily to keep abreast with the home news and the happenings around the world.

One news item that gripped me was what happened to reigning world champion, Liu Xiang, the pride of China at the Olympics, who pulled out of the 110-meter hurdles minutes before the start of the race, in front of the 91,000 expectant crowd on Monday (18 August).

The Electric New Paper of Singapore reported that ‘Chinese were broken when hurdler Liu Xiang pulled out on Monday. But no one seemed to spare a thought for his loving dad. His heart was crushed too. Mr Liu Xuegen turned off his handphone immediately after his son limped off the track at the National Stadium.’

It must be gut-wrenching for both Liu senior and his son to go through this time. I wonder how their key relationships in life are affected by this. I wonder more how they themselves are going to relate to others under such cloudy skies. I guess it depends a lot on how they ‘love themselves’ under such circumstances; how much they blame themselves for this crisis, what is that self-worth they place on winning the race, the sense of purpose of life itself in general, etc. These have bearing on how much they can pick themselves up at this moment to ‘love others’.

Yes, keeping ourselves in the capacity to love God and others is crucial when we know that our wellbeing comes from these.

It’s not selfish to love ourselves, if this means having greater ability for us to love God and others more.

If we wish our relationships with others could take a recognizable leap in the coming weeks, may be one way is to think of how we can love ourselves more…like taking time away from routine toil and just sleep and relax, making peace with oneself, or just go out and have a big bowl of Sarawak laksa! (Yes! We will have this on 7th September here in Michigan).

Word of Wisdom
A saying: ‘I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country, I want a cabin in the woods. I'm desperate for a change from rage and stormy weather.’

In times of turmoil, find a reliable ‘shelter’ where we can take refuge, build ourselves up again, and weather through the storm.

What’s ahead!
Yes, one thing our nation is intensely focusing on right now is the Permatang Pauh by-election on Tuesday.

We recognise how important this election is to our nation and will certainly pray for this.

For this week, it is a time of preparation for our 3rd and final examination of the current course and to get ready for the start of the semester 9 days from now. After that, the time will pass in a flash…and be home in no time!

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…
This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at

Week Beginning 18th August 2008

What’s happening…

It certainly felt good to settle down to studies and campus life after a hectic month of travelling and adjusting to life here.

It has also been a week when we began to prepare for our second examination of the Adolescent Psychology course scheduled for Friday next week.

Pastor Peter Lui and Pastor Glen Lim made a detour of their U.S. trip to visit us on Monday and to reconnect with Professor Ben Freudenburg and his wife, Jennifer, whom Pastor Peter met in 2006 in Singapore.

It was an exciting time on Thursday when we attended the ‘Healthy Me, Healthy You’ Early Childhood Conference. Dr. Tom Ahlersmeyer, President of the Concordia University, gave an inspiring opening speech to the 300+ early childhood educators present at the one-day conference. Professor Ben, the keynote speaker, challenged the participants to stay faithful to their vocation and keep ‘healthy’ to make the greatest impact on young lives. Matthew & Rose also shared briefly some of their experiences of the Malaysian kindergarten education scene.

The university campus was a hive of activities on Friday as the first batch of new students enrolled for the new semester that starts on 2nd September. We shall see many things taking place on campus the next few weeks with many other students returning from the summer break.

We are also slowly gearing up for the full-load of studies ahead of us.

Besides studies, Professor Freudenburg is opening many doors for us to learn about various aspects of building strong family. Many visits to various community organisations to learn about their family life programmes are expected in the coming months.

Just Pondering…..
The parting thought of the last blog of ‘my life depends on relationships’ lingered on in me much of this week. As I carefully looked around during the week from the perspective of this truth, I easily discovered its reality.

The giving and receiving of gifts, extending oneself to serve others, affirmations given, physical and emotional supports experienced, being in one’s presence in times of need, various expressions of love, were all about relationships.

Is there anything that we experience in our daily life that has nothing to do with relationships? What about personal enjoyment in solitude, like eating a plate of ‘kolo mee’ (noodles) on your own when you are starving for it? Or looking at the beauty of your surroundings as you take that stroll in the quietness of the morning?

There was an ancient learned religious teacher who sought for an answer to, among all the things one must have to be successful in life, that one most important thing a person must have to succeed in life. The answer he received was ‘relationships’.

He was told to ‘'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your mind. ….Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ Simply put, it is to have good relationships with God, with others, and with yourself. The answer tells us that our very lives depend on these relationships.

This answer may appear strange to some, especially in regards to relationships with God and oneself.

Maybe it’s good to pause right here. Let’s take some time to chew on this thought during this coming week and see what comes out of it.

Do write to me about what you think on this issue of the importance of relationships in life.

Word of Wisdom
A proverb: ‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Reflecting on this proverb of last week further in the context of relationships, it tells me how I am on the inside determines the kinds of relationships I am building, which, in turn, determine the course of the life I am having. The heart is the core. The health of our relationships depends solely on it.

What’s ahead!
As serving staff of the Family Life Department, we will be attending 3 full days of the Faculty Seminar this week. We are not sure of all the details of this seminar. We were told that this was to equip us to serve the department better.

On Saturday afternoon, we will be making a field trip with Professor Doyle to a shopping mall as part of the requirements of the course we are presently doing under her.

It will be a great time of studies…and more studies from now on.

A Week In Passing

Acknowledgement…
This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at

Week Beginning 11th August 2008

What’s happening…
We embarked on the journey to Phoenix, Arizona on Monday with great expectation and excitement, recognising that the 2008 Marriage and Family Ministry Training Conference of the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) this week was one of the highlights of our U.S. attachment.

It was indeed a powerful conference with tremendous learning opportunities. Led by the anointed husband-and-wife team of Eric and Jennifer Garcia (AMFM founders. You may find more information on AMFM on http://www.amfmonline.com/), the conference was an ingathering of top experts and practitioners from the wide spectrum of family life development in the U.S. We learned not just from people like Norman Wright, Gary Rosberg, David Ferguson and Kirk Weaver, who are known in our part of the world for their works in the family life arena, but also from other experienced and learned practitioners known for their respective works here in the States.

From the start of the conference with the Marriage Forum (presented by 9 experts) to the end, one cannot but hear the consistent battle cries of protecting and building strong homes in the nation.

It is obvious that the rally is on here. This is understandable, considering the devastations experienced in the families here. A Marriage Commission Research Report states that 1.2 million annual U.S. divorces cost taxpayers an estimated US $30 billion per year, not counting the cost of human sufferings which are often long-term.

The workshop conducted by Rob Rienow on ‘Visionary Parenting’ was stirring. With excellent oratory skills and a passionate and fiery heart, Rienow set out the visions that each parent should have for their children to truly succeed in life.

Kirk Weaver (who also co-wrote resources for the Heritage Builders series of Family Night Tool Chests of Family Time (http://www.famtime.com) shared his heart in two workshops on how parents can actually mentor their children with valuable life principles and values consistently and with passion. Participants could see the fruit of his success with his own family through the presence of his own daughter, Madison, in the workshops. He gave us the whole set of his resources as a blessing to what we are doing.

Professor Ben Freudenburg, who is a key forerunner in this emphasis in the States, again bared his heart in his call to all parents to take primary responsibility (and not to outsource character building to others) in nurturing their children in three workshops he conducted (one workshop with four other known family life practitioners). It was very impactful.

A surprise of the conference was our experience with coaching during the workshop conducted by Dave and Dawn Lind of Focus On Purpose. Their heart in coaching other leaders was infectious.

A distinctive feature of the conference is the excellent platform it provided for networking.

Rose and I had the privilege to meet up and spend an enriching time over a meal with Clint and Penny Bragg of Inverse Ministries. They have been so helpful in the works we do in the Marriage Reconciliation area back home.

We also caught up with a great couple, Gary and Mona Shriver of Hope and Healing. They specialise in helping couples to recover from extramarital affairs.

Another chance meeting was with Dr. Robert Paul, Co-President of National Institute of Marriage. He is also the co-author of the book ‘DNA of Relationships’.

This weekly account is not complete without the story of the family who hosted us at their home in Phoenix: Dr.James Poyak and his lovely wife, Susan (and their cuddly dog, Halley). Dr.Poyak, an international Orthodontics Instructor, is one of the famous dentists in Phoenix, known for his services. Not only is he highly skilled in the dental area but he is also particularly concerned for the wellbeing of his patients. The carefully-designed clinic ambience is one of its kind. We were really blessed by their warm hospitality and their love during our stay at their beautiful home located in a scenic part of the city. They took one day off to show us around the city, even meeting up with their two daughters (Lindsay – married with 2 boys and expecting another one – and Jordan). Perfect hosts.

What a week it has been!

Just Pondering…..
A word that captures the whole essence of this week is ‘relationship’. The conference, with its wide coverage of topics, basically dealt with relationships in the home; between husband and wife, and between parent and child.

Though there are many kinds of life relationships that affect the quality of our life, we know family relationship is the most basic and fundamental and powerful, besides our relationship with God. Its effects on us are pervasive and long-lasting.

Looking inward even for a brief moment about our own relationships within the family easily prompts us to certain feelings about the kind of life we live.

Gazing at the time of growing up in our parents’ home brings back not just memories but the realisation of how it has significantly shaped our life.

Obviously, the current state of relationships with our spouses and children and our siblings very much determines the quality of our present life.

Living in the midst of the myriad demands of life that frequently pull us in all directions, what a battle it is to stay focused on nurturing a healthy relationship with our own family! It requires reminding myself constantly that my life depends on it to keep it within the radar of the daily grind.

Yes, my life depends on it! I better remind myself more of this…..

Word of Wisdom
A proverb: ‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ The condition of my heart for my family directly determines the kind of life I am having with them.

What’s ahead!
This week begins a time of settling down to studies after one whole month of much travelling.

We (the Family Life Department) are also preparing for the return of the students in the next few weeks. The new fall semester will start on 3rd September. There are many events on campus that coincide with that.

One highlight of this coming week is the Early Childhood Conference - Healthy Me, Healthy You conference (refer http://cuaa.edu/) on Thursday. Professor Ben will be the keynote speaker.

A Week in Passing















Acknowledgement…
This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at blueshores86@yahoo.com

Week begining 4th August 2008

What's Happening

After the flurry of many experiences since arriving in Ann Arbor, Michigan, we are finally settling down to campus life as we enter the fourth week of our attachment here.

We are also now finally catching up with reflecting on various things that took place since our arrival here.

The warm reception at Detroit Metropolitan Airport on 8th July night by two professors (Professor ben Freudebburg and Professor Karna Doyle) of the Family Life Faculty of Concordia University and their spouses was just overwhelming.

We had a taste of American living right from Day One when we stayed at the home of Professor Ben Freudenburg and his wife Jennifer. I left with the professor for the Children’s Conference in Chicago on Friday, 11th July while Rose stayed on here. It was a great learning time on child development. What a start to a time of learning here!

We moved to our apartment on campus on 16th July and discovered that many people at the university, under the leadership of Jennifer Freudenburg, had come together and furnished the place beautifully and with abundance. It is a very comfortable home away from home for us. I guess we have no more excuse not to study hard here!

We had the first taste of home food when we cooked at Professor Ben’s place on 19th July. It was a treat, but we have also set our hearts to be adventurous enough to try all kinds of American food. So far, so good, with hamburgers (triple the size of MacDonald burger in Kuching), sweet potato chips, etc.

We (both Rose and I…Yes! Rose also…) have started a course of the Family Life Education programme, Adolescent Psychology, with Professor Doyle. She is very caring and helpful in ensuring that we learn much from the course. This will keep us very busy, with other commitments (Rose also assisting Professor Ben in his works at the office), right through to the end of August.

The visit with Professor Ben to Focus On The Family Head Office in Colorado Springs last week Friday and Saturday for the Family Champion training was enlightening. It was a cherished experience to be at the premises of an organisation that I have had the opportunity to serve for more than 6 years.

This past weekend, Professor Ben and I travelled by road to Cleveland, Ohio (the neighbouring state). There, Professor Ben conducted a workshop as part of the on-going Family Friendly Partners Network (FFPN) development in that area. It was so heartening to see so many leaders coming together to learn how to develop and establish strong homes in their communities. It was quite an eye-opening experience. The one-on-one time with the professor during the trip was a gem.

Just Pondering...

Even in the midst of so many things happening recently, I never stopped thinking of the conditions of our country and people that we left behind back home. Keeping in touch through the daily readings of Borneo Post, The Star, and The New Straits Times, I gather that things are not doing well there, economically and politically.

Here in America, people are also struggling economically. One large Californian bank (Indymac Bank) collapsed within a week we were here. Austerity drive is the in-thing here right now.

I heard that the key economists of the world aren’t sure where the world economy is heading either. We are in uncharted waters, especially with the rise of fuel prices and no sign of it abating.

In times like this, a natural question we ask ourselves is ‘What will happen to us?’.

What will happen to my career, my family, my friends, my country? A common answer we hear is ‘I (we) don’t know!’.

It’s true. Really, no one has any clear idea where our future lies. It is so uncertain.

This concerns us… for many, greatly.

One immediate step (which even our government encourages) many people take is to ‘tighten our belts’, or at least be more careful in how we spend.

There is a limit to this though. We can only cut so much of our spending without jeopardising our welfare and that of others.

We can work harder. There is a limit to this too.

We are searching for the right answers. Many people out there would volunteer to offer them to us.

However, the key is in the ‘right answers’.

How do we know the answers are right? What reference point or standard do we measure these answers to in determining their being right or wrong? Moreover, many of these answers concern the unknown future.

It seems that we are sitting ducks awaiting the inevitable ahead of us.

ARE WE? Maybe there is a way out of this!

There is an ancient saying, “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls”.

Maybe times like this give us the opportunity to really search for answers (the good way) at places beyond where and what we are usually accustomed to. For some of us, we may even explore about God and see what He has to say in all these.

I hope you would keep this option open.

Who knows, you may experience what an ancient tells us,
“No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it -
What God has arranged for those who love Him.”

Word of Wisdom

A Proverb: “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise... keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips.”

What's Ahead!

On this Monday, Rose and I will be heading for Phoenix, Arizona, to attend the annual conference of the Association of Marriage and Family Ministries. It’s one of the forefront conferences on family life in the States. You may find this at http://www.amfmconference.com/

It will be a week of great learning experiences as we have signed up for 5 main sessions and 9 workshops over the 4-day period. We hope to meet many persons whom we can network with in the future.

We’ll be back early Saturday morning.

A Week In Passing





Memorable Moments






















Acknowledgement... This blog is updated with the creative input of Miss Trish Wong, an incredibly talented multi-media IT savvy young lady. She may be contacted at [blueshores86@yahoo.com]